Sry I called you an 8
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
