We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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