Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
