u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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