My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had sex on a dog bed..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
