My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
