did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize