we made out on top of his cat.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
