I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
