"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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