ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
