You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize