i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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