Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
