I seem to have left my pride at pride
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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