lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she told me i tasted like america
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
