I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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