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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
