How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
