2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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