He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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