My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
