Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
