First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
