remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
