Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
