is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
