I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize