She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
