Will you blow on my dice?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
