He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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