if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
