dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
