Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
