You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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