Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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