dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
