Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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