You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
