remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
