I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize