would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
