he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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