Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
