how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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