so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
