i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
