i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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