I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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