i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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