Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
