Just fell off a train. Bad.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
