You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
