Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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