note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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